Amusing Searches

 

People who run their own websites often get to chuckle over some of the search terms that show up on search engine statistics. Checking my search engine stats is always an adventure, and some searches are just too fun to keep to myself:

  • “Christmas Cantina” (On an LDS site? Not likely.)
  • “My sherry ammo” (Stevie Wonder patents a way to convert wine into a weapon. Pick some up at the Christmas Cantina.)
  • “Love Knows No Boarders” (This ain’t a bed and breakfast ya know…)
  • “The Morning Brakes” (Driving before you’re fully awake, eh?)
  • “A Manager Filled With Love” (Wishful thinking.)
  • “Holmes Bright Love” (When you have eliminated the impossible…)
  • “Dance of the Sugar Palm Fairy” (Think ballerina in a grass skirt.)
  • “Relief Society March” (Okay, I do understand the intent… but oh, the visual images…)
  • “Woke up this morning” (My favorite joke: What’s the inscription on a blues singer’s tombstone? “I didn’t wake up this morning…”)
  • “Titanic” (Near, far, but not on this site.)
  • “Under the Sea” (That’s where you’ll find the Titanic.)
  • “If I Stood Beside Me” (There is help for this kind of thing.)
  • “Make Me One” (Er… ditto.)
  • “I’ll Find Me, My Friend” (Um…do you sense a theme here?) (BTW, I didn’t write the correctly-named version either, despite what some websites say.)
  • “God Sent An Angle” (A right angle, of course. Mothers are always right.)
  • “The Angles Came To Sing” (Sounds like a trippy Geometry nightmare to me.)
  • “It Came Upon A Midnight Clean” (Those angles are a bit fanatical about their housekeeping.)
  • “Be Still, My Sole” (Shush. It’s the salmon’s turn to sing.)
  • “Gethsemenenne” (Viktor? Is that you?)
  • “Sally Forth” (Not even Sally DeForth?)
  • “Hark the Herald Angels Sin” (Tsk tsk… tarnished haloes…)
  • “I Stand Almoazed” (I don’t have “Almoazing Grace” either.)
  • “I Stand All Amused” (I do this often, but I don’t tend to write songs about it.)
  • “Cat” (Hard as I try, I just can’t seem to upload the cat.)
  • “Panino” (A new concept in e-commerce: downloadable sandwiches.)
  • “Piece of an angel to watch over me” (What, you don’t want the whole angel?)
  • “The Aster’s Voice” (Sounds like something straight out of Merrie Melodies.)
  • “Shards of Grass” (Not your typical “Barefoot Lawn”)
  • “You must have been a beautiful baby” (Thank you!)

  One Response to “Amusing Searches”

  1.  

    OH BOY – I really got a good hearty laugh at the funny engine searches. Thanks for sharing that with us.